Is He Unsafe, or is it Your Wound? How to Tell the Difference

Many relationships struggle because we can't tell if our lack of safety comes from our partner's behaviour or from our own unresolved wounds. This makes it hard to feel secure and connected, leading to tension and misunderstanding.What we need to do is look at whether our partner is genuinely showing up in a committed, present, and reliable way. At the same time, we need to reflect on our own patterns and see if past wounds are influencing how we perceive the relationship.If we don’t draw these distinctions, our relationships can become filled with blame and criticism. We may constantly feel unsafe and unsatisfied, even if our partner is doing their best. This creates distance and can keep us from experiencing deeper love and trust.In this episode, Lorin invites you to ask yourself whether your partner’s showing up in a way that deserves appreciation. If they are, try expressing gratitude for their efforts today. If not, think about how you can lovingly communicate your needs to help strengthen the connection.Mentioned in this episode:Discerning Narcissists in Relationships A 2½-hour workshop to recognize and break free from toxic dynamicsHealing Your Relationship with the Masculine A 4-week immersive program for women, starting 2nd March 2025