Real vs Fake Doms: How to Tell Them Apart (ft. Sir Marvelous)

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with pleasure coach, intimacy educator, and professional Dom Sir Marvelous for a conversation about real dominance, fake Doms, pleasure-centered sex, and why communication and patience are the foundation of good BDSM—and good sex in general. This episode breaks down what dominance actually looks like beyond performance, how to spot manipulative dynamics early, and why prioritizing pleasure leads to deeper trust, safety, and better sex.In this episode, Alexa and Sir Marvelous discuss:What actually makes someone a real Dom vs a fake DomWhy “pleasure Dom” is often misunderstood and misusedHow fake Doms weaponize submissive language on dating appsManipulation, rushing dynamics, and early red flagsPatience as the most attractive and essential Dom skillWhy dominance is about giving and not controllingWhy dominance doesn’t have to include pain, whips, or chainsEating pussy before, during, and after penetrationAnxiety, erections, and why losing one isn’t a failureStrap-ons, toys, and removing ego from penetrationAsking better questions about pleasure and satisfactionThe brain as the biggest sex organPost-sex debriefing: what worked, what didn’t, what to do more ofAdvocating for pleasure in Dom/sub dynamicsBeginner Dom mistakes to avoidWhy Doms should experience submission or bottomingPerformative dominance vs authentic presenceThank you Splash Blanket for keeping me and my guests cozy ◡̈